Walla Walla = Home

It was such a fun trip home. Okay...I am lying...it was stressful, exhausting, and somewhat straight-up depleting. But, it was so needed and helped us to better understand how we will travel between here and there in the future. And it was so wonderful to see family and friends that it seemed we hadn't seen in decades. I look forward to the holidays when I will get to see folks in Kentucky. I can't even explain the amount I miss Detroit, family, friends, Louisville, and so much more. Just a simple thought about getting chocolate chip pancakes at the Pancake House in Grosse Pointe can make me tear up. It has been so very surprising to me how homesick I have been. I have usually tackled a situation like this head on with no looking back. But not this time. I have to admit, in the last few days I am just now finally feeling a little more at home here.  I am not going to trick myself into believing it will be easy tomorrow. It will take a while before it is.

I think I am just taking it day by day and accepting each moment of sadness along with each moment of happiness and contentment. I look over at my son and he is happy as a lark. I see him running through the grass at the park and smiling back at me and getting lost in the wonder of this town and it teaches me that I, too, must get lost in the wonder. Most likely we will get back east someday, but until then I should enjoy every moment I have out here. Who knows, these may be the only moments I get to take in the vast wonder of such a unique place as Eastern Washington. And if we ever move back east, I may get only this time to see the Cascade Mountains, orogenous royalty in my eyes. (And for those of you who are wondering about my vocab just there, an orogeny is a mountain chain.) This really is a beautiful place, and I have already met some wonderful people who have gone out of their way to bring us into their lives. And as I sit here writing this, I realize that one day I may have to say good-bye to them in much the same way and it will be just as difficult.

So, we are back home. We are back where we belong for right now. And we are enjoying ourselves. Frontier Days is just around the corner and I have a cute little rodeo shirt for Linus to wear. I am already thinking of a menu for Labor Day weekend, but maybe we'll have a cookout to attend. And, Steve just wrote me a text a few hours ago to let me know we got invited to a corn roast this weekend. Fun seems to be pouring from every corner. And each time I feel sad and miss my other home, I just have to look at Linus, see his smile, giggle, and glee and realize that we are in our home now. Steve, Linus, and I are home to each other.

 

48 Hours To Linus

On July 17, 2009, I visited Beaumont Hospital in Troy, MI for a simple Non-Stress Test at about 11am. I had been going once a week for about a month and a half. I was excited that day, though, because the next day I would be returning to be induced. I was ready to get the test done and then head home to get things ready at the house for the arrival of our new baby boy. What I didn't know...I wasn't going home.

Right after starting the test, Linus' heartbeat dropped dramatically. The nurse became concerned right away and had me turning and contorting to see if we could get a better measure of the heartbeat. My OB was called immediately. Two more nurses came in and Steve was called back to be by my side. Then I remember the nurse turning to me and saying, "Honey, I don't think you are going home...".

A few hours later I was taken back to my Labor/Delivery room. They set me up with an IV of pitocin and the induction began. That was at about 3pm on July 17, 2009. The next morning, around 6am, they started stepping up how much pitocin I was getting. My parents and Steve's parents came and sat with us in the room. I was continuously checked and contractions were happening. I felt confident I was moving right along. My son's birthday was going to be July 18, 2009! NOPE. By the end of the day, they had knocked my pitocin up to a rate of 24 and I wasn't even close. (The nurse informed me that they usually only have to go up to a rate of 10-15 to get the labor going.) That night they took me off the pitocin drip for a little while and had me take meso pills.

At 6am on July 19, 2009, I remember my OB coming in and checking on me. Steve was asleep and everything was so quiet. I remember turning to my OB, with tears in my eyes and saying, "Please, don't send me home. I can't go through this anymore and I want him out." He smiled at me almost laughing, "Don't worry, if you haven't had him by 6pm, we're going to put a zipper in ya and take him out". I had never heard it phrased that way, but it made me so much happier.They started the pitocin drip again. Things moved along much as they had the day before. By 2pm, I had only dilated to 2cm and I was at a rate of 22 on my pitocin drip. The nurse half smiled at me. Things didn't look too good. I looked back up at the nurse and said, "Let's just do the C-section." And then it was a rush of time that I can't even explain. The flurry that occurred around me at that moment was nuts. The OB came in and made sure we were fine with the decision. Several nurses came in and prepped me. Steve was thrown into scrubs. I was signing papers. I was meeting the nurse anesthesiologist. I quickly said bye to Steve's parents and my own. They whipped me back into the operating room and I met the second OB that would be helping out. There were sooo many people in the operating room. I had never wanted an epidural, let alone a spinal block. That is the one thing I had said to my OB. But it is pretty much required for a C-section. I was so stressed by it my BP went up to 200/110. It was crazy. But then Steve was brought in and it began. Just a few minutes later, at 3:01pm, Linus Henry was born. It was beautiful. It was surreal. I cried. I couldn't even believe he was there. I just stared and stared at him as they checked over every centimeter of his body. Then they handed him to Steve and I was able to give him a kiss for the very first time. It was so wonderful. I sometimes long to have that one moment back to live over and over again. But, I have the memory and that is beautiful enough.

Even though his birth did not happen the way I had expected or hoped, it was beautiful nonetheless. And no matter what, the process gave me my most precious son. And now a year later, that moment seems so long ago. But, the memory is still there. I love you, Linus!!!

The Lazy Days Of July

On our way to the festivities in Pioneer Park.

Well, the 4th of July has passed us by, which means we are on the back end of summer, heading back into another fall. Truly, I won't be too sad when summer is over and fall is here. Never have been much a fan of hot temperatures. We got to enjoy festivities right outside our door on the 4th, as neighbors were setting off fireworks in the streets. And of course there were tons in the sky. And the great thing about the weeks to come is that Linus will get to celebrate his birthday. As of right now, that birthday will be celebrated in style by spending the weekend visiting Long Beach, WA and Multnomah Falls. We simply can't wait!!!

In the meantime, we are trying to stay cool, enjoy the sunny afternoons, and make this an extra special time for Linus. He has been enjoying new, not really healthy foods, such as cake, popsicles, and rice krispie treats. He loves them all. Of course, who wouldn't really. He's been getting ample opportunities to splash his footsies around in the local pools. So far, Waitsburg's pool seems the best.

Yummy Birthday Cake

Of course, Steve and I know it isn't all about Linus. Though it truly seems that way sometimes. We have definitely been making time for ourselves and to spend with each other. We spend many evenings sipping on a cool drink sitting on our porch talking. It is nice to just have time to reconnect. Steve's been enjoying gardening and his spinach has been a delightful addition to our dinner plates. I myself have been enjoying trying new ideas in the kitchen, especially since creativity seems to be the key in getting Linus to eat his veggies. In order to get him to eat them about a week ago, I cooked up so cornbread stuffed with spinach, carrots and cheese. It was quite scrumptious and that day, Linus definitely got his fill of veggies.

The best way to get a child to eat their veggies...

All in all, things have just been going along lazily, and for right now, that is just the way we like it.

Remembering Linus' First Months

As we inch closer to Linus' first birthday, I am compelled everyday to reminisce about the first days after we brought him home from the hospital. They were tough, exhausting, stressful, scary, and wonderful.

He was a big guy at birth, weighing in at 9lbs 7oz. And when we brought him home, he didn't fit most of his newborn clothes and there was no way we could fit him into the newborn swaddlers someone had so graciously bought us. Oh well. He slept his first night (though I am not sure slept is the word to use) in his car seat, as it was the only place he would allow us to put him down where he wouldn't cry. (We would later be made to feel quite bad about the car seat thing by his then doctor. We switched from him quite quickly.)

And, yes, he was swaddled in a hair towel at this point.

He cried a lot those first nights. Cried to the point that Steve and I were crying, too. At night, he would have cluster feedings lasting hours (and because I was nursing, I can tell you it was not necessarily fun). We would have to carry him all over the house trying to calm him. I even found myself pushing him around the house in his stroller trying my mightiest to lull him to sleep. To no avail, that night he was awake from 1 or 2am until 8am. Later on, we would think back and realize...oh yeah, he was colic and we didn't even really know it. Luckily for us, it only lasted about 6 weeks.

Moments of peace...

For the first 4 months he didn't nap. And when I say he didn't nap, he didn't nap. He had maybe a handful of times that he slept. I thought at the time I would never make it through. But, then one day he found his thumb, and sleep found him. He grew like a weed (still does in fact). He smiled, fussed, learned to roll over. And as we approached the holidays, Steve and I became more used to our roles as parents. We got an idea of how to make things work for him and things didn't seem so daunting. The blessing that Linus is became ever more apparent. (Of course, that might also be because he was no longer crying for hours every night.)

We look back on those days fondly. Even though many of them were tough, we would do every bit of it over and over again for Linus. We are so blessed to have him in our lives!!!

Attack of the Water-Bug and His Mighty Drumsticks

Okay people, I really need to get better at keeping up with this blog-thingy. I really like the idea of keeping everyone up to date, but the actual remembering to do so seems to elude me. Will work harder at that!

Seems like a lot has been going on here in the fine town of Walla Walla. Steve is working hard every day and getting used to his new role here. Linus and I are tackling the tough task of getting used to eating veggies that don't come in a jar and trying to get that walking thing down.

We just started doing swimming lessons with Linus. I knew he liked the water for the most part, but wasn't sure how well he would take to a more structured lesson. I think the fact that on the second day he cried because we weren't getting in the water quick enough told me. He loves it!!! He's made a new friend, as it has ended up being only two kids., and I think he may even have a tiny crush on the instructor. :-)

Today he has started a new pointing phase, which I kinda hope he keeps up. He keeps pointing at different things wanting to touch them. A new discovery phase. One great thing, it seems to indicate he is getting over his fear of plant-life, as he pointed at them continuously on our walk today. Another thing he pointed at, his Daddy's drumset. Yep, it has taken over, he seems to have the drummer infection. And, really, for 11 months old, he ain't too shabby.

This weekend we are looking forward to a nice lazy time of it. Probably going to head an hour west to the Tri-Cities, the closest place with a mall and Target. Target, Oh How I Miss Thee!!! The weather is getting hot and here in the Eastern Washington desert, the heat and dry air are going to make for a very interesting summer for us.

Luck of the draw, I guess...

So, here I am on a lazy Friday afternoon. I can hear Linus rustling over the monitor, naps almost over. I just got done doing just a little bit of cleaning and rearranging, always find it cathartic. Thinking about things, what has happened, what hasn't happened yet, how I have ended up in this place. All in all, I am a DAMN LUCKY gal!!! I mean, I now live in one of the safest spots in the U.S. (somebody knock on wood), I am married to a wonderful man who lives to take care of myself and our son, I have a beautiful little boy who may be the easiest child (though it scares me how that could change in the blink of an eye... :-)...). We are doing well. We are certainly far from rich. We, like most, have our money issues. But we handle them and work on them together. I have wonderful friends and family. I mean, how the heck lucky am I.

But here is what we have been up to lately. Getting used to Walla Walla still. Had a date night for only the third time since Linus was born (babysitter to work out pretty good). We just got tickets to head back to Michigan this summer (Hell Yeah!!!). And we just visited Portland, our favorite city ever. Fun, fun!!! Linus seemed to like Portland as well. We even got the chance to take him by Multnomah Falls. (When we got home we figured out that we had been at the falls on July 20, 2007, a day shy of two years from Linus' birth. Who knew then what we had in store.)

Here's Linus snoozing in the hotel in Portland.

We have Memorial Day weekend to look forward to now. Thinking about grilling, sitting back, maybe doing some hiking. It should be nice. (Of course, I should probably also think about getting some stuff done around the house...like finishing the unpacking...We'll see.)

We Got A Home Finally

We finally found a home for ourselves!!! Feels like we are finally fitting in to this little hamlet of the Northwest. It is a simple, two-bedroom deal in the southeast side of town. What's best? Steve only has a 6 minute drive to work. He can make it from our door to his desk in about 10 minutes. Awesome Sauce!!! Another great thing is that it is near the doctor's office, which means I will never have to go far to get Linus into the doc. (Though he doesn't really go in that often anyway - knock on wood people.) Also, it has a big kitchen, so no more cramped corners, and it has a - drum roll please - dishwasher!!! So excited about that.

Now, how do I feel about the house itself. It's okay. It will work. It isn't the fanciest place and definitely not the biggest place. But, we can have our pets and it is in a pretty good place. I mean, we don't have to stay there forever and maybe we will even buy a house here someday. (They do have some pretty fantastic places.) For right now it works and that is what matters.

And for right now, my biggest worry is just getting used to the days around here. Keeping Linus on a schedule. He's doing pretty good. Just gotta keep myself strong and awake enough to get through the day. Of course, this is not helped by his waking up at 3am the last two nights. Someday, in the far off future, Steve and I will recover from the exhausting move to this place. Until then, coffee will remain a dear friend.